The marriage of Sayyid Muhammad bin Abdullah to Mrs. Khadija bint Khuwaylid
We saw a while ago how Mrs. Khadija was ordering her servant her servant to follow the behavior of Muhammad bin Abdullah who was not yet a messenger, until she confirmed her condition, and surrounded her acquaintances before marrying him. Here we will learn about his first marriage, which lasted for a while. Let us investigate the details of the longest marriage to the beloved ( Muhhamed) - peace be uopn him.
before the message
Who is Lady Khadija, whom the Messenger of God married as the first wife? She is Khadija bint Khuwaylid bin Asad bin Abdul Aziz bin Qusay bin Kilab bin Murrah bin Kaab, her lineage meets the lineage of the Prophet in Qusay bin Kilab. She is one of the nobles of the houses of Quraish, they are from Bani al-Assad, and it is a large neighborhood, among them: Hakim ibn Hizam al-Sahabi, Waraqah ibn Nofal, and al-Zubayr ibn al-Awwam, and they were known to be people of loyalty and steadfastness.
What is her nickname before marriage?
Before Islam: the pure.
After Islam: Mother of the Believers.
We take from this part the following:
It seems that nicknames were among the important matters for the Arabs, and they often see the best in people and give him a title like Lady Khadija al-Tahira, and the Messenger was called the Truthful and Trustworthy, that is why the Messenger of God - may God’s prayers and peace be upon him.. It was a well-known thing after Islam that the Messenger of God called Omar as Al-Faruq, and Ubaidah bin Al-Jarrah as the trustee of the nation and others, And you know that the title proves the attribute in the human being, especially if it is a good title.
Read this study in Psychology
A study conducted in the 2000s, led by American psychologist Jane Twenge, found that even after controlling for family background and general dissatisfaction with life, people who disliked their names tended to have poor psychological adjustment. This was likely either because their lack of confidence and self-respect made them hate their name or their dislike of their name contributed to their mistrust — “the name becomes a symbol of self,” Twenge and co-author wrote.
Who proposed marriage to the other?
Khadija, may God be pleased with her, was the first to marry the Messenger, so she asked for a good way, so she sent her friend Nafisa bint Umayyah bin Abi Ubaidah, to be a messenger between her and him, and she in turn asked him, O Muhammad, what prevents you from marrying? He said: I have nothing in my hand to marry, She said to him: If this is sufficient, and you are called to beauty, money, honor and competence, is that not a condition? He said: Who is she? Khadija said: How do I do that? Nafisa said I had to, so I went to her and told her that she had scheduled his engagement with her family.
We take advantage of the above
The value of loyal and loving friends in a person’s life is the best thing that a man possesses, Nafisa, the Umayyad girl. Surely she heard about Muhammad bin Abdullah and his qualities, like Mrs. Khadija, she did not think of herself in marrying him, this is what the worldly conditions witness in the friendship of a woman with women in particular, or if she is marying didn't need to feel that her freind marry from whose best her husband, But she is a good friend and is all benevolent from the heart. Khadija told the Prophet directly, saying: "Oh my God, I have desired your kinship, your honor among your people, your sincerity, your morals, and the sincerity of your speech." A combination of the two narratives is possible, so she offered herself to him after learning from Nafeesa that he agreed.
She presented herself by introducing it (Muhammad bin Abdullah). Do you not see that with me: (I desired you because of your kinship, your honor in your people, your trust and good manners, and the sincerity of your words), she presented a wonderful preamble to her words and expressed their reasons. As if she is apologizing for the fact that she initiated the request.
All that Mrs. Khadija gave of the reasons for marrying Muhammad bin Abdullah (ethics - morals "honor - trust - good morals - honesty) and one material thing (meeting in lineage)
Rather, it is indicative of her strength of character, self-confidence and self-respect (which probably came from her family's honor - her work as a famous merchant - her fortune) that she bet he would not reject her and it is.
How old was she at the time of her marriage to Muhammad bin Abdullah?
On the contrary, it was said: She was twenty-five, and it was said: thirty-five, and it was said: forty, and there are the most narrators, and as for the age of the Messenger with him. time, there is no dispute that he was twenty-five.
Then see what modern science has proven for the best age for marriage for both men and women, Call it "marriage season," call it ripening, or call it whatever you like. The fact of the matter is that we all reach a certain age, often in our mid to late twenties. According to the US Census Bureau, the average age of marriage is 27.8 for women and 29.8 for men, and weddings definitely seem to happen around this age group.
There are reasons for men to consider older women as a potential marriage partner. maturity in a relationship. Maturity in parenting.
Having lived with longer than you, a person is more likely to have a maturity that comes with age: not to fight too much about trivial matters, and not likely to have an affair after she's out of her system, Marrying an older woman, on average, means marrying someone more mature.
Related study
Parenting is more difficult and stressful than many people realize. It takes maturity and poise to consistently set but not excessive boundaries, to stay calm, and to solve problems collaboratively with your child. An older person is more likely to have this maturity over the age of 20, As mentioned, older adults have had more time to advance in their careers. So marrying an older woman, on average, not only increases the chances that she will contribute more money to the family income, but she will be in a better position to offer career advice, And maybe help her husband to get a better job. In addition, having an experienced working woman as a partner allows for confidential career advice that is less likely to be given by peers.
From the above and other reasons, we understand why the Messenger of God - may God’s prayers and peace be upon him - married a woman who was his oldest
And for 25 years they lived in harmony, a period in. The one who raises children with a good-natured mother who is famous in her community and also a first-class businesswoman, She is the one who was appointed for the Messenger at a time when he was devoting himself to his great message while raising his message. And she stands at his back to perform his mission, without bringing him into a struggle over trivial things like other women at a young age of theirs.
How did the revelation begin?
The first thing that the Messenger of God, peace and blessings be upon him, began with from revelation was a true dream in sleep, and he did not see a dream except that it came like the dawn of the dawn, then the desert became sweet to him and he was emptied of the cave of Hira, and he uttered in it - which is devotion - the numbered nights before he went to his family, He supplies himself for that, then returns to Khadija and supplies for the like of it, until the truth came to him while he was in the cave of Hira, the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, said (He, may God bless him and grant him peace, said: The vision of a believer is one part of the forty-six parts of prophecy). Agreed.
He, may God bless him and grant him peace, said: (The Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, said: The vision of a believer is one part of the forty-six parts of prophethood). Agreed.
The righious vision
The first revelation began in Mecca when the Messenger of God reached the age of forty, for a period of twenty-three years. He lived in Makkah al-Mukarramah for thirteen years, and in Medina for ten years, The prophets were revealed to them in their dreams, as it was revealed to them in their wakefulness, as for specifying its parts by the number mentioned, some scholars have said that.
The first saying about the meaning of the vision
Abdullah Ibn Yusuf told us, Malik told us, on the authority of Hisham Ibn Urwah, on the authority of his father, on the authority of Aisha, the wife of the Prophet, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, that Al-Harith Ibn Hisham asked the Messenger of God, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, and he said: O Messenger of God, how does the revelation come to you? He said: “Sometimes it comes to me like the ringing of a bell - and in a narration: like the ringing of a bell - and it is the most difficult for me, so it breaks from me and I understand what he said, and some scholars said: It means that the vision agrees with the prophecy, not that it is part of the prophecy.
The second saying about the meaning of vision
And sometimes the king represents a man to me and he speaks to me, and I understand what he says.” Aisha said: And I saw him descend upon him on a very cold day, and he was separated from him - and in another narration, he was separated from him - and that his forehead would be dripping with sweat!! This is a description from the Prophet, peace be upon him, of two states of revelation.
The third saying about the meaning of vision
Ibn Battal said in the explanation of Sahih al-Bukhari: We must know what it means for a dream to be one of the parts of prophecy, If it was from a thousand parts of it, that would be a lot, so we say - and God is the gardian for success, the word prophecy is taken from the news, and the news is information in the language, and the meaning is that the vision is true news from God, and there is no lie in it, as is the meaning, Prophecy is the true prophecy of God that it is not permissible for him to lie. The vision is similar to prophecy in the truthfulness of a narration from the unseen.
The beginning of the revelation
Until the truth came to him while he was in the cave of Hira, so the angel came to him and said: Read. Then the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, said to him: I said: I am not a reader, so he took me and squeezed me until I was exhausted, then he sent me and said: Read, and I said: I am not a reader, So he took me and squeezed me for the second time, until I was exhausted, Then he sent me and said: Read, and I said: I am not a reader, so he took me and the squeesed me for the third time until I was exhausted. Then he sent me and said: {Read the name of your Lord who created ... Until he attained {taught man that which he did not know} [Al-Alaq:]}
We take from this next part
The reason is that Gabriel - may God bless him and grant him peace - covered the Messenger of God in this way while he was alone in a dark place like Hira. God knows that he came to him by day or by night, and a stranger did not appear to him for the first time in the image of an angel and did this, and this is a severe matter so as to get him out of worldly thought, even when he's in the cave. and contemplating it in the cave is an introduction to its distance from people, wife and children, and this is like the Almighty’s saying: (“Take off your sandals, for in the Holy Valley you have been folded” [Surat Taha:12]). Some scholars say that the meaning of the shoe here is to take off worldly thoughts, including the wife who left her alone in the desert, So this defining moment in his life, before and after it, must be cruel to his generous soul before he receives revelation. You also hear a loud and annoying bell when you wake up from its sound, which words will be told to you next so that your brain will understand them with a distinct response other than normal speech.
A new study showed
Disturbing sounds trigger a high emotional response in the brain. The researchers found that the part of the brain that regulates emotions, the amygdala, appears to control the auditory part of the brain when people hear a very disturbing sound.
The Messenger returns from the cave, terrified. Imagine that something horrible happened to you outside the house. Let it be a bomb. You passed by it as you came home, trembling with terror from what you saw of corpses scattered around you or something similar. .
What was the response of Mrs. Khadija when she heard that from him?
He came back with trembling signs, until he entered Khadija, and said: Cover me, cover me, so they covered him until the fear left him, He said: O Khadija, what is the matter with me? And he told her the news, and said: I feared for myself, She said to him: No, rejoice, for by God, God will never disgrace you. you reach the womb, you are veracity in talk, carry the weak, and accommodate the guest, and assist in the challenges of truth.
No, God will not harm you. Then there is an explanation, because this is not a sent word that eases - may God be pleased with her and be pleased with him - but rather the meaning of reality in herself and her mind before she utters it with her tongue. This does not mean only the faithful wife when her husband falls into distress, But what is her deep view of him and his generous person from the inside through kindness. (Respect in the marital relationship) is one of the most important reasons for the success of the relationship, and why did you do it? Because a woman who hates her husband or does not respect him while he is in distress: she says to him the ugliest words to affect him psychologically because he is not big in her eyes.
In one set of studies, Jennifer R.
Fry and Philip R. Schaefer of the University of California, Davis, surveyed college students regarding respect and their relationships. What they found was a significant correlation between respect and satisfaction in the relationship. There was also a close association between respect and moral integrity. Respect is a positive trait that a person possesses.
Go to Warqa bin Nofal
Then Khadija took him, until Warqa bin Nawfal bin Asad bin Abd al-Uzza bin Qusay, who is Khadija's cousin, brought him. her father's brother, He was a Christian in the pre-Islamic era, and he would write the Arabic book, and he would write in Arabic from the Bible whatever God wanted him to write, He was an old man who had gone blind, so Khadija said to him: What cousin, listen to your nephew. Warqa said: My nephew, what is it? The Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, told him what he had seen, Warqa said: This is the law that was sent down to Moses, I wish I had a trunk, that I would be alive when your people expel you, The Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him: Will they let me out? Warqa said: Yes. No man has ever come with the like of what you have brought without enmity with him, and if he overtakes me one day, I will give you a decisive victory.
We benefit from the previous paragraph thus
Why did Mrs. Khadija take the Messenger of God, whom the message has not yet reached, specifically to (Warqa bin Nofal)? Because he is a man of knowledge of Christianity, he is the one who will decide whether what happened to Muhammad bin Abdullah - true or false? And secondly, he is an old man, and the closer a person is to death and becomes far from life, especially that he is blind and cannot see, so do not be tempted by the joys of this world, for he is more open and honest, and is more honest with himself and those around him.
The children of Mrs. Khadija from Muhammad bin Abdullah
The eldest of them is Al-Qasim: He reached the age of boyhood until he rode an animal, then died after the prophethood in most of the narrations, then Zainab, then Fatimah, then Umm Kulthum - may God be pleased with them all, Sons and fathers grew up quickly as the nature of life around us and my daughter yesterday became my bride today, but fates do not always go as we like, The two daughters of the Messenger of God, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him (Ruqayya and Umm Kulthum), when Quraish offended the Messenger, and the Messenger married Ruqayya Lutbah bin Abi Lahab, Umm Kulthum and Otaiba bin Abi. When the polytheists wanted to harm the Messenger, they asked Utbah and Otaiba to divorce the daughters of the Messenger, so they divorced them, nd they all died except for Fatima, who died six months after the death of the Messenger of God - may God bless him and grant him peace.
Societal punishment is an old and new punishment in eastern societies
For those who do not rule the same society as a whole. Divorce of the two daughters is a form of societal punishment, because the Prophet chose a way of life opposite to the whole community (worshipping God alone and leaving idols), self-harm is painful but more painful for children, and this is the best woman on earth at that time - may God be pleased with her and her satisfaction - and this He is the Messenger of God and the Seal of the Prophets. Nicknamed in the Jahiliyyah, those who harm their daughters’ loved ones by their divorce, this is what the Prophet said about him later (her divorce) a feeling of broken heart. Of the two daughters and the heart of the parents together, and it is difficult for the soul to divorce the two daughters together and not only one.
Her position - may God be pleased with her - from the siege of Muslims in the reefs of Mecca
The Messenger of God, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, said that he said: No money has ever benefited me as the money of Khadija) - we will talk about it indivdual - God willing.
The story of the best women of the people of Paradise
He said: The best women of the people of Paradise are Khadija bint Khuwaylid, Fatimah bint Muhammad, Maryam bint Imran, and Asiyah bint Muzahim, the wife of Pharaoh. (1) And Maryam and Khadija are the best of the four, in (Sahih Al-Bukhari) On the authority of Ali bin Abi Talib, on the authority of the Prophet, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, he said: ((The best of her women is Mary, and the best of her women is Khadija))
Al-Zuhri said: We know that Khadija spent forty thousand and forty thousand on the Messenger of God, may God bless him and his family.
Peace be upon our master Gabriel at Khadija
On the authority of Abu Hurairah, he said: Gabriel came to the Prophet and said: “Oh, Messenger of God, this Khadija has brought with her a vessel in which there is fat, food, or drink, so if she comes to you, read the greetings of peace to her from her Lord and from me, And give her good tidings of a house in Paradise made of reeds, in which there is no clamor or tired.
The death of Mrs. Khadija - may God be pleased with her and her soul
She died - may God be pleased with her - in Makkah Al-Mukarramah in the tenth year of the Prophet’s mission in Ramadan at the age of sixty-five, and it was said that she was the fifty-fifth, 10 Ramadan is the tenth year of the Prophet’s message, that is, three years before the migration.
Thus ended a great chapter in the biography of the beloved - may God’s prayers and peace be upon him - a chapter in which the affection, mercy and support of the faithful wife who respects and reverences her husband among the people before her and between him. even scholars call this year the year of grief. The Prophet was deeply saddened by the death of his noble life partner, Because it is his inner forehead, as for his outer forehead, his uncle Abu Talib, who was defending him against the Quraish. and if he dies as an unbeliever and does not die as a Muslim, i.e., he does not believe in what his nephew brought, However, he stood in the back of his nephew until his message was fulfilled - and about this the Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, says: as soon as the Prophet - may God’s prayers and peace be upon him - and his companions left the people of Abu Talib, trials and sorrows followed him.. His uncle Abu Talib, who was defending and supporting him, died, On the authority of Ali - may God be pleased with him - he said: I told the Messenger of God - may God’s prayers and peace be upon him - of the death of Abu Talib, so he cried and then said: “Go and wash him, shroud him and cover him, may God forgive him and have mercy on him, the misfortune was not only in his death; Rather, the tragedy was that he died as an infidel, even though the Prophet - may God bless him and grant him peace - followed him with da'wah until the last moment of his life.