The visiting etiquette in Islam

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The Visiting etiquette in Islam

On the authority of Muadh, may God be pleased with him, on the authority of the Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, he said: ((God Almighty said: My love is obligatory for those who love in me and sit for me and those who exchange each other for Me, and those who visit one another for Me)). [said by Ahmed and Albany].

 On the authority of Anas: ((The Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, used to visit the Ansar, greet their children, and wipe their heads)); [Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi (2696) in a similar manner, Al-Nasa’i in Al-Sunan Al-Kubra (8349), Ibn Hibban (459), and the wording is his, and Al-Baghawi in Sharh Al-Sunnah (6/335)].

On the authority of Abdullah bin Amr bin Al-Aas, may God be pleased with them both, he said: ((The Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, said to me: O Abdullah bin Amr, Was I not told that you fast during the day and pray at night? I said: Yes, O Messenger of God. He said: Do not do that. Fast and break your fast, and get up and sleep. Your body has a right over you, your eye has a right over you, and your wife has a right over you, indeed, your visitor has a right over you.) [Narrated by Al-Bukhari (1975) and Muslim (1159)].

Some questions and their answers

Mention the evidence from the Qur’an and Sunnah that visits are obligatory in Islam?

Allah says

﴿يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا تَدْخُلُوا بُيُوتًا غَيْرَ بُيُوتِكُمْ حَتَّى تَسْتَأْنِسُوا وَتُسَلِّمُوا عَلَى أَهْلِهَا ذَلِكُمْ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ * فَإِنْ لَمْ تَجِدُوا فِيهَا أَحَدًا فَلَا تَدْخُلُوهَا حَتَّى يُؤْذَنَ لَكُمْ وَإِنْ قِيلَ لَكُمُ ارْجِعُوا فَارْجِعُوا هُوَ أَزْكَى لَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ عَلِيمٌ﴾ [النور:27،28].“

O you who have believed, do not enter houses other than your own until you have become sociable and have greeted their inhabitants that is better for you, so that you may remember, If you do not find anyone there, do not enter it until you are given permission, and if it is said to you, “Return,” then return. That is purer for you, and God is Knowing of what you do” (An-Nur: 27, 28).

On the authority of Abu Hurairah, on the authority of the Prophet - may God bless him and grant him peace -: “A man visited a brother of his in another village, and God prepared for him an angel on his way, When he came to him, he said, “Where do you want?” He said, “I want a brother of mine in this town.” He said, “Do you have a favor that you wish for, He said, “No, except that I loved him for the sake of God Almighty, He said, “I am the Messenger of God to you, and that God has loved you as you loved him.” [Narrated by Muslim].

What is the evidence that visiting relatives is obligatory in Islam?

On the authority of Abu Hurairah, may God be pleased with him, on the authority of the Prophet, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, who said: (Whoever believes in God and the Last Day, let him maintain his ties of kinship) Narrated by Al-Bukhari (6138).

On the authority of Aisha, she said: The Messenger of God, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, said (the womb is attached to the throne, saying: Whoever joins me, God will connect him, and whoever cut off me, God will cut off him.) Narrated by Al-Bukhari (5). 989) and Muslim (2555)

What are the benefits of visits?

 The visiting relatives, neighbors, friends, and other general Muslims; It is a means of strengthening affection, uniting hearts, and strengthening ties, and through it, the forgetful remembers, It alerts the heedless, teaches the ignorant, relieves souls, alleviates misfortunes and sorrows, and other benefits hoped for from visits,

Mention from the Qur’an or Sunnah what supports that it is necessary to honor the guest?

On the authority of the Prophet, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, he ordered it and made it linked to belief in God and the Last Day. He said: “whoever believes in God and the Last Day should not harm his neighbor, and whoever believes in God and the Last Day, let him honor his guest, whoever believes in God and the Last Day, let him speak good or remain silent, “Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim. - Whoever believes in God and the Last Day should honor his guest.”

First: the guest etiquette

Bring your intention when visiting

On the authority of Abu Hurairah, on the authority of the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace: (Indeed, a man visited a brother of his in another village, and God provided for him, on his way an angel, When he came to him, he said: Where do you want? He said: I want a brother in this village, He said: Do you have a blessing that you wish for, He said: No, except that I loved him for the sake of God Almighty. He said: For I am the Messenger of God to you, that God has loved you as you loved him for Him) Narrated by Muslim (2567).

Set a visit time by phone or mobile message 

This is done by setting an appointment for the visit via phone, mobile message, or similar means of communication, He avoids the times when it is likely that the owner of the house does not like anyone coming to him, as it is a time of rest, or a time for studying for himself or his children...etc.

The visitor must sit in the place specified by the house owner

Ibn Muflih, may God have mercy on him, said: He should look at the custom of the owner of the house in this regard, and it is not permissible for him to transgress it. Did the owner of the house know that he was seating guests in any place, if there is a specific place where the owner of the house usually sits and the guest sits, the visitor sits there, if he is appointed and does not speak, then we look at the custom of the place and sit there. If he has neither custom nor habit, then custom and habit In that case, sitting without special permission is due to him obtaining permission to enter. as long as he brought you into the house, this means that you should choose a place and sit in it if the owner of the house does not have custom or habit.

Only a pious person will enter your house

 On the authority of Abu Saeed Al-Khudri, on the authority of the Prophet, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, he said: (Do not keep company with anyone but a believer, and let no one eat your food except a pious one.) Narrated by Al-Tirmidhi (2395) and Abu Dawud (483). 2)

Al-Khattabi, may God Almighty have mercy on him, said: “This only came about food for invitation, not food for need, and that is because God Almighty said (And they feed food out of love for Him to the poor, the orphan, and the captive), and it is known that their captives were infidels, neither believers nor pious, but he warned against keeping company with someone who is not pious, and discouraged mingling with him or eating with him, for eating creates familiarity and affection in the hearts.

Avoid prohibited times for visiting

He does not go so much that his hosts become dissatisfied with him, and the person does not prolong his absence in an unusual way, so the connection is severed and affection disappears from the hearts, On the authority of Abu Dharr, he said: The Messenger of God - may God bless him and grant him peace - said: “O Abu Dharr, visit intermittently, you will beloved more, [Narrated by Al-Tabarani with an authentic chain of transmission], meaning: Visit sometimes and cut off other times.

He does not leave until he asks for permission

On the authority of Ibn Omar, may God be pleased with them both, he said: The Messenger of God - may God bless him and grant him peace - said: “If one of you visits his brother and sits with him, Do not get up until he asks for permission, and if one of you comes to the council, let him greet, and if he wants to get up, let him greet, for the first is not more deserving over the last.”

Going out with the visitor to the door of the house It is polite for the head of the house to go out with the visitor and accompany him to the door of the house. Abu Ubaid al-Qasim bin Salam visited Ahmad bin Hanbal. Abu Ubaid said: when I wanted to stand up, he stood with me. I said: Do not do it, Abu Abdullah, Al-Sha’bi said: “A complete visit to the visitor is to walk with him to the door of the house and take his passengers.”

He should not enter a room or the like without his permission

Allah says

( يَاأَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا تَدْخُلُوا بُيُوتًا غَيْرَ بُيُوتِكُمْ حَتَّى تَسْتَأْنِسُوا وَتُسَلِّمُوا عَلَى أَهْلِهَا ذَلِكُمْ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ ، فَإِنْ لَمْ تَجِدُوا فِيهَا أَحَدًا فَلَا تَدْخُلُوهَا حَتَّى يُؤْذَنَ لَكُمْ وَإِنْ قِيلَ لَكُمُ ارْجِعُوا فَارْجِعُوا هُوَ أَزْكَى لَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ عَلِيمٌ ) النور (27 - 28).

(O you who have believed, do not enter houses other than your own until you have maintained sociable and greeted its inhabitants, that is better for you, so that you may remember, but if you do not find anyone therein, do not enter it until you are given permission. And if it is said to you, “Return,” then return, it is purer for you, and God is Knowing of what you do.” (An-Nur: 27-28).

Ask permission three times, with a little time between them

There is an opportunity for the owner of the house to open the door and give permission to enter. If the door does not have a bell and requires knocking, knock politely if it is possible to hear by knocking lightly, let him suffice, otherwise, according to need and according to what is reasonable.

Permission form: greeting. Do I come in 

On the authority of Rabi’i, he said: A man from Bani Amir told us that he asked permission to come to the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, while he was in a house, and he said: Come in?  Then the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, said to his servant: Go out to this man, So teach him how to ask a permission, and say to him: Say peace be upon you, may I come in? t he man heard him and said: Peace be upon you. Shall I come in? So the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, gave him permission, and he entered.) Narrated by Abu Dawud (5177), and authenticated by Al-Albani in “Sahih Sunan Abi Dawud” (3/270).

He does not face the door, but stands to the right or left On the authority of Abdullah bin Busr, he said: (When the Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, came to the door of a people, he would not face the door, From the in front of it, but from its right or left corner, And he says: Peace be upon you, peace be upon you. That is because there were no curtains over the houses at that time.) Narrated by Abu Dawud (5186).

On the authority of Huzayl, he said: (A man came and stood at the door of the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, asking permission, So he stood at the door - facing the door - and the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, said to him: Thus - on your behalf - or thus, for permission is only from seing.) Narrated by Abu Dawud (5174), and authenticated by Al-Albani in “Sahih Sunan Abi Dawud” (3/269).

If the owner of the house asks: Who? He says his known name and does not say me.

On the authority of Jabir bin Abdullah, may God be pleased with them both, that he said: I came to the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, in repayment of a debt that my father had owed, So I knocked on the door, and he said: Who is this? So, I said: I am, He said: I am, I am as if he hated it.) Narrated by Al-Bukhari (6250) and Muslim (2155).

 If he is not given permission, let him return and not get angry

“If the people of the house say to the one asking for permission: Go back, he must go back, because God Almighty says: (And if it is said to you, “Go back,” then return, for that is purer for you.) some of the scholars wished that he asked permission from some of his friends to say to him: Return, so that he may return, and he obtains the virtue of returning mentioned in his saying: (It is purer for you); because what God said: It is purer for us, there is no doubt that there is good and reward for us in it, And knowledge is with God Almighty.” End. “Adwaa al-Bayan” (6/202).

not sit with the host for a long time

A prolonged stay with the owner of the house causes boredom and annoyance, the benefit of the visit is removed, and the pleasure of meeting turns into boredom and burdensomeness, and affection turns into hatred.

The Pray for the owner of the house

Among the supplications mentioned by the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, in this regard:

- (O God, feed whoever fed me, and give drink to whoever gave me drink) Narrated by Muslim (2055).

- (O God, bless them in what You have provided for them, and forgive them and have mercy on them) Narrated by Muslim (2042)

- (The fasting people broke their fast with you, and the righteous ate your food, May the angels’ blessings be upon you.” Narrated by Abu Dawud (3854), and authenticated by Al-Albani in “Sahih Sunan Abi Dawud” (2/459).

Not to looking at the private parts of the house

And in the two Sahihs on the authority of the Messenger of God - may God bless him and grant him peace - he said: “If someone were to look at you without permission and you hit him with a pebble and gouged out his eye, there would be no blame on you.”

Not to spy or eavesdrop on the household

If the owner of the house gets up to bring coffee, tea, or something else, he begins to look through the holes in the doors at the people of the house and their sanctities, and there is no doubt that this is one of the forbidden matters, God Almighty forbade spying, and God Almighty said: “And do not spy,” and peace and blessings of God be upon him said: “And do not spy” The noble prophetic directive came to gouge out the eye of the person in this situation, and he has no blood money or retaliation. Rather, his eye is wasted.

The visit must be free of legal violations

 Such as mingling, shaking hands with foreign women, watching corrupt satellite channels, and other reprehensible things.

The visit should be short the visit should be short and brief, if the visit is not obligatory and is not intended from a faraway place, because a long visit leads to boredom, wastes time, makes the visitor burdensome, and may destroy his affection.

Because some people are harmful, you see them sitting at the forge from the afternoon until the hour of sleep, eating the leftovers of lunch, and perhaps taking a rest after eating in people’s homes, then, after sunset, he sits for coffee and tea, waits until dinner time, and then goes to visit someone else, as if he were in a hotel with an open buffet.

Don't let your children mess around in other people's homes So the man or woman brings their children to visit, especially if there is no guidance and direction for the children before the visit, as they may destroy, break, play and mess around in people’s homes, they break and destroy him, and he does not leave his visit unless the family members breathe a sigh of relief so that they are safe from the reproaches of others and do not burden his visit.

That he does not lead the household in their prayers

On the authority of Abu Attiya, who said: Malik bin Al-Huwaith used to come to us in our prayer place and speak, so one day the prayer came, so we told him to come forward? He said: Let some of you come forward, so I can tell you why I don’t come forward, I heard the Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, say: “Whoever visits a people should not lead them in prayer, And let a man from among them lead them.” [Authenticated by Al-Albani, and Al-Tirmidhi said This is a good and authentic hadith, and this is acted upon according to most people of knowledge, among the Companions of the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, and others, they said: The owner of the house is more deserving of the Imamate than the visitor.

Do not give yourself free rein to ask about the price of furniture or anything else

During his visit, the visitor may see some of the good furniture and arrangement of the house, so he begins to ask the owner of the house about the furniture, and its price, and other questions and inquiries that may cause the homeowner to be embarrassed, which is not appropriate for a Muslim. He, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, said: (Part of the goodness of a person’s Islam is his abandoning what does not concern him

   Second: the host etiquette

He should not raise his voice at the guest or any of the household This is not polite or respectful, rather he should lower his voice and muffle it.

To Fluent in his faces when they receive them

 Imam Al-Awza’i, may God have mercy on him, was asked: What is honoring a guest? He said: Fluent face and good speech.

To tell the guests something that makes them happy

 He speaks to them in a way that pleases their souls He gives them good news

He should not remove the table before the guests have had enough

 It is not part of Islam to remove the food while the guests are still eating, nor to look at the places of their food while they are eating

not too silent in their presence

 nor is he absent from them Silence makes the guest feel that you are not welcome, and being absent from them for a long period of time, even if to prepare food, it is preferable to have a relative sit with them and not leave them alone

The host does not rush (guest) to leave

 but deposits him at the door of the house

Indirect speech or standing after a long visit

On the authority of Anas bin Malik, may God be pleased with him, he said: “When the Messenger of God married Zainab bint Jahsh, He called the people and they ate, then they sat talking, and it was as if he was preparing to get up, but they did not get up, When he saw that, he got up, and when he got up, those who got up got up, and three people sat down, then the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, came to enter, and the people were sitting, Then they got up, so I went and came and informed the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace - they had set off, so he came and entered.) [agreed